Money Monster vs. Money Honey

Do you have a “money honey” or a “money monster”?  This is key into understanding your money relationship now and in the future.  I first learned this from money coach Morgana Rae author of Financial Alchemy who first termed these metaphors.  These images underlie your money beliefs that are likely subconsciously held from your past, whether from your family, culture or experience with money.

I often ask clients: “What is your money relationship? How do you interact with your money?” I have gotten a variety of responses like “Uh, I spend it!”, “Relationship? What’s that?”, or “Not a good one, I’m always broke!”.  We chuckle and then we have a money conversation that for many is the first time they have discussed money concerns with anyone.

So, what is the difference? When we have a negative experience with money—never have enough it seems, live paycheck to paycheck, pay overdrafts and penalties, and just always feel anxious about money—then this is a money monster.  What makes it scary is not knowing what this beast is doing to our self-confidence, self-esteem and self-efficacy.

The truth is it keeps us from gaining traction on our financial security now and in the future.

Identifying Money Monsters

What I notice about clients who have this type of relationship is that they are often ignorant of what is happening to their money.  They do not track expenses or check on deposits and withdrawals in a timely manner, but treat money like it is a absent parent they take for granted.  They then feel guilty because they use money impulsively and spend it without knowing its impact on their budget.  They are anxious when spending money because they don’t keep up with withdrawals and pay fees as a result.  These are some common underlying limiting beliefs as to why.

• “There’s never enough.” This is the mindset that there is scarcity and no, there is not enough to pay for necessities or for what we want.

• “Why bother, my situation doesn’t change.” This is the attitude of resignation and that no matter what you do nothing changes.

• “You only live once.” This attitude justifies actions of spending that are impulsive and emotional often extravagant or habitual like buying Starbucks coffee every day or eating out daily.

• “The Universe or God will provide.” This is the belief that good works or Karma will take care of you despite spending beyond means.

Creating a Money Honey

Now, when you have a money honey relationship there is a complete shift in your attitude, mindset and money habits.  These are empowering beliefs and create positive outcomes with money.

• “My money is good and I’m grateful.” The attitude of gratitude creates a relationship with money that is appreciative of how it helps you maintain a lifestyle that is affordable and within your means. Remember that “gratitude is the greatest of all virtues and parent to the rest”, a quote from Cicero.

• “Money and I are connected.” This means that you are in communication with money on a regular basis by checking on deposits and withdrawals. Either do it online or in a tracking method that keeps you informed on saving and spending and maintaining a workable budget. You care about how money is working for you.

• “Money takes care of me.” This is a mindset that money serves you and when you work with money by having money goals like saving for an emergency (rainy day fund) or your retirement, or even for a vacation (sunny day fund). You think that money provides for your future and this produces financial security.