The Story of Mirna and Oscar – Te Lo Juro (I Swear)

Sadie Vialpando Williams

The row of apartments where Mirna and Oscar lived appeared unkempt. Debris was scattered about, and cars and trucks were parked haphazardly in front and around the complex. I knocked on the family’s apartment door and waited. Mirna, a petite Latina with long black hair opened the door and welcomed me in. Óscar, the baby’s father, was standing nearby. The dark and crowded studio with shuttered windows seemed depressing and in need of some light and fresh air.

I smelled dampness and saw a newborn baby on the bed. Mirna said, “Por favor, desculpe el cuarto,” pointing to the clutter of diapers and baby stuff all around the room. She pushed aside a space for me to sit. 

“I am your financial coach,” I said. Your son, Aarón qualifies for a $500 scholarship and you, as his parents can earn up to $500 in incentives to participate in our program.” Óscar looked at me skeptically. I could see disbelief in his eyes. Most newcomers to this country are fearful and do not want to call attention to themselves, are distrustful of strangers, and are intimidated by authority. 

Mirna, thirty-one years old, had come to the United States four years ago in search of a better life and to escape the poverty and violence of Guatemala. She met Óscar on a Facebook family thread and they began a courtship. They got pregnant. Oscar, only twenty-six years old, had fallen from a roof injuring his back during a construction job the year before. They were in desperate need of income. He was in terrible pain from a bulging and herniated disk. Mirna was suffering from post-partum depression and in need of support and services to help care for their new-born baby, Aarón, three months old. Óscar could barely walk let alone hold a crying baby. Compassion filled mi corazón and I said to myself, “Dear God this family is in crisis, please help.” 

After hearing what the program offered, Mirna and Oscar agreed to participate and completed the necessary forms. I explained that through the coaching process they would need to visualize a realistic goal to work on and that each time they would need to do some homework related to this financial goal and to wellness. 

The first homework was to open the windows daily and let some fresh air in and to have more light in the room. The second, to envision what they wanted to achieve for their family and establish a short-term finance goal that could be achieved in six months. To get started, they were to track all their expenses until we could meet again. I gave them a promise, “Te lo juro, if you apply what you learn in this program it will change your lives.” I left soon after and drove away, praying the program would help this family. I felt confident that if they took my words to heart, they would overcome these dire circumstances.

Two weeks later we met and reviewed the budget template to see how much income they had each month compared to the expenses they had. They noticed immediately they were spending more than they were making. They also decided that their short-term goal would be to save at least three months of emergency savings. To accomplish this goal, they had to reduce their expenses. This became next month’s homework, to review daily expenses and ask themselves if it was a need or a want, and to think about their savings goal. 

When I returned the next month, they had significantly cut their expenses, including eliminating cable and going out to eat. They were pleased to see how after a few months of focusing on their financial goal their scarcity outlook changed. By reducing expenses and motivated by the financial incentives earned in the program, they were able to save. In addition, Óscar had followed up with his attorney to appeal for an increase in the workman’s comp award while he remained on disability. These steps clearly changed how Óscar and Mirna looked and planned for their future. They felt empowered by their progress.

They began attending financial workshops and learned basic goal setting, debt management, credit building, and how to manage money beliefs and mindsets. For each workshop they attended they earned $40 gift cards that was a source of income to buy diapers, milk, and other necessities. Soon they had saved enough to move, and they began to look for other housing. Each session was a review of what had been accomplished and what next steps to secure their future. They decided to get married in civil court after a year of being in our program.

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Mirna y Óscar on their wedding day

During this time, they became active in a self-led peer group that came together with other clients with a desire to stay connected. The group applied and received a small grant from the Alameda Public Health Department and decided to present workshops on Community and Domestic Violence at the public library. As they told their stories to me and each other I was moved by the courage and resiliency of each member and how their experiences had shaped newcomer beliefs.

The group presented three workshops. Discussions with community members exposed raw emotions and misunderstanding of living in mixed races communities and how frustration over language barriers and lack of income forced many of them to live in silence and poverty. I recognized how important it was for them to give voice to their stories. Talking aloud with each other about their experiences was empowering and healing. I also realized how necessary it was to openly share their fear of the Afro-American community and vice versa and saw a need for further work in this area of race relations and perceived fears of different races.

Mirna, more confident now joined a women’s group, Mujeres Unidas y Activas (MUA) to learn English and advocacy in the Women’s Leadership classes. MUA, a membership organization provides legal, education and empowerment/leadership programs and services for immigrant women. Mirna joined the women’s leadership group where she learned to organize and received training on how to advocate for immigrant social and economic justice. 

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In April 2020, after waiting eight hours on Zoom, Mirna gave a presentation to the California State Legislature providing testimony on her experience of being exploited as a woman and undocumented worker. Senate Bill 1257 was to provide CalOsha protection and health benefits to all domestic workers in California. While the bill failed, it is again being presented in 2022.

What is remarkable to me is that Mirna and Óscar within three years of becoming participants in our program were able to stabilize their financial situation despite the numerous obstacles. They took charge of their lives by following guidelines for reducing expenses, saving money, seeking resources and being advocates in their own lives and in the community. With the money they saved in an emergency account they are prepared for any sudden changes in their employment. 

Óscar was able to continue advocating for himself and his family by seeking lifetime health care for his injury and training for alternate employment that he can do given his permanent back injury. What he and Mirna learned has empowered their independence and their willingness to work with others in the community to support economic and social justice.

These days Óscar and Mirna have established a second savings account for a home purchase within five years for their growing family. Óscar has gotten relief from his back injury after surgery and is working small jobs and plans to go to barber training next year. Recently, Mirna testified that “We no longer fear being poor and undocumented. We envision the future and plan for it with faith, healthy money, and wellness habits, and by seeking resources and serving others.”  This is the transformation, promised when I said, “Te lo juro. If you apply what you learn in this program your lives will be changed forever.”

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“If you don’t plan your life then life will plan it for you.”

“You must direct your life, or it will direct you.” 

Sadie V. Williams. Financial Coach.

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Bio

Sadie Vialpando Williams is a certified professional life and finance coach, an accredited financial counselor and educator, and a training consultant. Founder and Principal of Building Alliances Coaching and Consulting her SF- Bay Area based group provides individual and organizational assessment and training, personal and professional life, leadership, executive and financial coaching, and organizational consulting to nonprofit organizations. 

Sadie currently serves as financial coach to the Brilliant Baby project of the Oakland Promise, “to invest in the potential of every child in our community from birthday to graduation day. We believe in every child’s ability to graduate high school, earn a college degree and pursue the career of his or her dreams.” She serves mostly immigrant families and women from México and Central America in Oakland and the Bay Area.

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